Finlay's Overcoming a monster build up
Date: 4th Oct 2018 @ 1:19pm
Here is Finlay's impressive second paragraph of our 'overcoming a monster' story:
In a distant land, far away, a young frog called Geoffrey heard the news and immediately started to swim towards Wales, promising to destroy the Hydra. Annoyingly, the waves washed him back and crabs nipped at his toes but Geoffrey was a strong swimmer. All of a sudden, a spot of land appeared on the horizon. Geoffrey felt his energy dwindle. Luckily, the water was shallow enough for him to walk to land. It was easy to find the Hydra, as the piercing screeches echoed for miles around! Geoff approached the cave and stared at the blood-red eyes staring back at him.
Pedram K wrote:
Finlay, your writing is brilliant. How do you think of it all?
Ellie G wrote:
I love this story!
Finlay M wrote:
Thank you.😃
Arbaaz A wrote:
I agree Ellie I love Finlay’s story to
Hashim Z wrote:
Agreed as well
Eddie R wrote:
AGREED!Truly amazing.
James W wrote:
I like the name you have used.
Connie S wrote:
Wonderful.Incredible.Perfect.Amazing.
Connie S wrote:
It was wonderful, amazing, incredible, brilliant and exciting. If I was your teacher, I'd give you 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999990 credits.
James W wrote:
I would give him 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 credits.
Izumi R wrote:
Well done Finlay it was brilliant
Emily-Rose D wrote:
I love your writing style and the fact it’s INCREDIBLE!
Emel E wrote:
Yes it was amazing
Olivia O wrote:
I think it was GREAT
Hashim Z wrote:
Finlay you did amazing how did you do it? 🤔
Izumi R wrote:
I completely agree.
Daniyal A wrote:
Unfathomnable writing Finlay
Ellie G wrote:
Amazing word!
Arbaaz A wrote:
I agree Daniyal
Connie S wrote:
Pedram is right its AMAZING
Izumi R wrote:
Well done Finlay can’t wait to see your third paragraph.
Pip N wrote:
This is really good writing.💖
Arbaaz A wrote:
like it Pip
Soraya F wrote:
Finlay your story is amazingly awesome 👏
Elaina A wrote:
That is unforgettable writing Finlay!
Olivia O wrote:
I agree it is unforgettable
Daniyal A wrote:
It's an artistic creative incredibility that your brain can generate
Emel E wrote:
I love all the adjectives you put in.
Soraya F wrote:
Finlay your story is amazingly awesome 👏
Connie S wrote:
and very very very impressive .
Annika V wrote:
I love your story 😍
Arbaaz A wrote:
I agree Annika
Dylan-che O wrote:
I love your story Finlay I love the use of adjectives👍
Hashim Z wrote:
Perfect writing
Arbaaz A wrote:
Finally I like your build up
Niamh C wrote:
Great ideas 💡
Arbaaz A wrote:
Amazing 👍
Hashim Z wrote:
Finlay loved it well done
Hashim Z wrote:
In a distant land, far away, a young frog called Geoffrey heard the news and immediately started to swim towards Wales, promising to destroy the Hydra. Annoyingly, the waves washed him back and crabs nipped at his toes but Geoffrey was a strong swimmer. All of a sudden, a spot of land appeared on the horizon. Geoffrey felt his energy dwindle. Luckily, the water was shallow enough for him to walk to land. It was easy to find the Hydra, as the piercing screeches echoed for miles around! Geoff approached the cave and stared at the blood-red eyes staring back at him
WELL DONE
Nathan S wrote:
Finlay the writing is brilliant but on the final sentence it was Geoff and it's supposed to be Geoffrey.
Pedram K wrote:
Have you finished the story yet?
Eddie R wrote:
This was a great story.Hope you can finish this master-piece.
James W wrote:
I totaly agree with you Eddie.
James W wrote:
Wow Finlay I could never imagine writing something like that. Keep it up and this will be an absolute master-peice.
Olivia O wrote:
how long did it take you to write it ?
Ellis H wrote:
FAB 😀 so good better than main
Suhayla W wrote:
This is really good well done
Suhayla W wrote:
This is an amazing ,exerlent ,fabulous,brilliant and very impressive master piece
India M wrote:
Suhayla is right!
Cavendish Community Primary School
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