Cavendish Community Primary School

Finlay's Overcoming a monster build up

Date: 4th Oct 2018 @ 1:19pm

Here is Finlay's impressive second paragraph of our 'overcoming a monster' story:

In a distant land, far away, a young frog called Geoffrey heard the news and immediately started to swim towards Wales, promising to destroy the Hydra. Annoyingly, the waves washed him back and crabs nipped at his toes but Geoffrey was a strong swimmer. All of a sudden, a spot of land appeared on the horizon. Geoffrey felt his energy dwindle. Luckily, the water was shallow enough for him to walk to land. It was easy to find the Hydra, as the piercing screeches echoed for miles around! Geoff approached the cave and stared at the blood-red eyes staring back at him.

Pedram K wrote:

Finlay, your writing is brilliant. How do you think of it all?

Hashim Z wrote:

I agree.

Ellie G wrote:

I love this story!

Daniyal A wrote:

Agreed

Finlay M wrote:

Thank you.😃

Arbaaz A wrote:

I agree Ellie I love Finlay’s story to

Sienna V wrote:

Me too 👍

Hashim Z wrote:

Agreed as well

Eddie R wrote:

AGREED!Truly amazing.

James W wrote:

I like the name you have used.

Connie S wrote:

Wonderful.Incredible.Perfect.Amazing.

Connie S wrote:

It was wonderful, amazing, incredible, brilliant and exciting. If I was your teacher, I'd give you 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999990 credits.

James W wrote:

I would give him 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 credits.

Izumi R wrote:

Well done Finlay it was brilliant

Emily-Rose D wrote:

I love your writing style and the fact it’s INCREDIBLE!

Emel E wrote:

Yes it was amazing

Olivia O wrote:

I think it was GREAT

Hashim Z wrote:

Finlay you did amazing how did you do it? 🤔

Izumi R wrote:

I completely agree.

Daniyal A wrote:

Unfathomnable writing Finlay

Ellie G wrote:

Amazing word!

Arbaaz A wrote:

I agree Daniyal

Annika V wrote:

me too 😃

Connie S wrote:

Pedram is right its AMAZING

Izumi R wrote:

Well done Finlay can’t wait to see your third paragraph.

Pip N wrote:

This is really good writing.💖

Arbaaz A wrote:

like it Pip

Soraya F wrote:

Finlay your story is amazingly awesome 👏

Elaina A wrote:

That is unforgettable writing Finlay!

Olivia O wrote:

I agree it is unforgettable

Daniyal A wrote:

It's an artistic creative incredibility that your brain can generate

Emel E wrote:

I love all the adjectives you put in.

Soraya F wrote:

Finlay your story is amazingly awesome 👏

Connie S wrote:

and very very very impressive .

Annika V wrote:

I love your story 😍

Arbaaz A wrote:

I agree Annika

Dylan-che O wrote:

I love your story Finlay I love the use of adjectives👍

Hashim Z wrote:

Perfect writing

Arbaaz A wrote:

Finally I like your build up

Niamh C wrote:

Great ideas 💡

Arbaaz A wrote:

Amazing 👍

Hashim Z wrote:

Finlay loved it well done

Hashim Z wrote:

In a distant land, far away, a young frog called Geoffrey heard the news and immediately started to swim towards Wales, promising to destroy the Hydra. Annoyingly, the waves washed him back and crabs nipped at his toes but Geoffrey was a strong swimmer. All of a sudden, a spot of land appeared on the horizon. Geoffrey felt his energy dwindle. Luckily, the water was shallow enough for him to walk to land. It was easy to find the Hydra, as the piercing screeches echoed for miles around! Geoff approached the cave and stared at the blood-red eyes staring back at him
WELL DONE

Nathan S wrote:

Finlay the writing is brilliant but on the final sentence it was Geoff and it's supposed to be Geoffrey.

Pedram K wrote:

Have you finished the story yet?

Eddie R wrote:

This was a great story.Hope you can finish this master-piece.

James W wrote:

I totaly agree with you Eddie.

James W wrote:

Wow Finlay I could never imagine writing something like that. Keep it up and this will be an absolute master-peice.

Olivia O wrote:

how long did it take you to write it ?